


I'll be ok

by imnicklendeborg



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Aromantic, Asexual Awareness Week, Asexuality, Background Simon Spier/Bram Greenfeld, Coming Out, Supportive Bram
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-26
Updated: 2018-10-26
Packaged: 2019-08-07 18:36:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16413683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imnicklendeborg/pseuds/imnicklendeborg
Summary: Garrett comes to a realization.





	I'll be ok

**Author's Note:**

> When I was writing this, I was picturing Garrett from the movie because he basically has no characterization, so he was a blank canvas to project onto. This is extremely self-indulgent. I absolutely love Garrett/Cal, but I needed to write this just for me. Hopefully someone else will find some comfort in it. Happy Asexual Awareness Week!
> 
> P.S. This is my first fanfiction, so go easy on me please :)

It has been a couple of months since the Ferris Wheel. It is the summer before college, and Bram and Simon are still very happy together. Garrett was happy for them, but he had this itch in the back of his mind that he couldn’t get rid of. It warmed his heart to see his friend so happy, but sometimes he would feel weird being around the couple. His first thought was that he might be homophobic, but that could not be the reason because he gets the same feeling when he is around any couple, no matter the gender. 

Garrett has gone through life being shown stories of people who meet their soulmate, get married, buy a house, have kids, etc. and it is hard to picture that in his future. Every year at school, guys would ask him which girl he likes and he never had a good answer. He would say “no one” and they would assume he was lying and pressure him to tell the truth, until Garrett eventually gave in and said the first name that came to mind: 

“Leah.”

She always sits with them at lunch and seems like an interesting person. Even though his classmates were pleased at finding out the truth, Garrett didn’t feel like he was telling the truth. In fact, he felt like an imposter. Why did he not like anyone, when everyone else around him seemed to be obsessed with relationships? He felt odd, different, broken. 

One night when his isolation was getting the better of him, he decided to start a tumblr. He remembers Bram telling him that joining tumblr helped him figure out that he was gay. Garrett knew he wasn’t gay, but he decided that he would try anything to figure out what was wrong with him. He spent hours trying to familiarize himself with the website and discover blogs to follow. He followed a couple of LGBTQ blogs, for Bram’s sake, then logged off for the night. 

A couple of weeks later, he decided to check up on his tumblr. As he was scrolling, he came across a post about asexuality. It definitely caught his eye, so he clicked on the blog that the post came from. Over the next couple of nights, he learned everything there is to know about asexuality, aromanticism, and every other orientation on the ace-spectrum. Words cannot describe how he felt, finally finding a community of people he can relate to, and knowing he was not alone in the world. 

After a lot of self-reflection, Garrett knew that he was aromantic and asexual. He figured that the next step would be coming out, but how do you “come out” as something that most people have never heard of? Obviously, the first person he wanted to come out to was Bram. He hoped that Bram would understand because of the time he spent on tumblr. 

One day, he was hanging out with Bram and Simon and he started to get nervous about telling Bram. Bram could tell that something was wrong, so after Simon went home, he decided to talk to Garrett about it. 

“Are you ok Garrett?” 

“Yeah, why?” 

“You just looked a little forlorn earlier.” 

“Only you would use the word ‘forlorn’.” 

“Yeah, yeah… but seriously, what’s wrong? Does it have something to do with me and Simon?”

“What do you mean?” 

“Well, every time all three of us hang out, you get closed off and seem a little uncomfortable. Do you have a problem with me being gay?” 

“No! God no! You know I love you just as you are Bram-o! …. But, there is something about relationships that make me uncomfortable… because….”

“What is it, Garrett?” 

“If I tell you something, will you promise to keep it a secret?” 

“Of course.” 

“I think that I’m asexual… and aromantic.” 

“Oh… well, that’s not what I was expecting, but you know that I love you just as you are too, ‘Garrett-o’.” 

The nickname made Garrett chuckle a little bit. 

“So, you know what asexuality is?” 

“I’ve heard of it, yeah. I don’t know very many specifics, though.” 

“Basically, I do not ever feel sexually or romantically attracted to anyone. And that is why I tend to get uncomfortable around you and Simon. I am super happy for you, but part of me is sad when I am around couples because I am reminded of how different I am from everybody else.” 

“I think I know what you mean- on a lesser scale, I tend to feel like that around heterosexual couples. I’m always reminded of how I’m different, but it’s hard for me to imagine how hard it must be for you… But I want you to know that I’ll always support you no matter what.” 

“Thanks Bram, that really means a lot to me. You’re the first person I’ve told about any of this.”

“Well I’m honored that you trust me enough to do that, and I’ll always be here if you need to tell me anything.” 

Garrett knew that being aromantic and asexual would most likely always make him feel like an outsider, but with people in his life like Bram, he knew that he would be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> When Garrett describes feeling "broken" or "wrong" towards the beginning, I absolutely do NOT believe that that is how ace/aro people should feel. That was just my experience with it before I started to accept it. I hope all my ace/aro pals out there know they are not broken and should never feel that way <3.


End file.
